Kenapa rayap tak menghabiskan lembaran
ini, kenapa menyisakannya?
Bahkan masih terlihat jelas potongan masa lalu saat rambut ini masih berponi. Model
batok, kalau kata teman-teman saya kala itu. Genggaman tangannya kembali
terasa. Kenanganku bersama Nenek, adalah ketika ia sibuk curhat dengan wali
kelasku saat pengambilan rapor, lama banget, dan 21 Juli 2017 ia jadikan
hari spesial untukku selalu mengingatnya. Dengan kesedihan. Kalau di
film-film, pasti sudah ada suara biola mengiringi saat saya menemukan album
foto tersebut.
Best nine 2017 mulai
bermunculan, sayapun ikut-ikutan, bahkan sebuah resolusi telah saya
ceritakan sebagai penyemangat memulai tahun baru. Bak ritual wajib penutup
tahun, membereskan kamar dengan seberes-beresnya harus saya lakukan, hingga
akhirnya saya menemukan sekumpulan foto dari saya kecil hingga menggunakan
putih abu-abu, kemudian proses pemberesanpun terhenti. Tak terselamatkan.
Saya lelah tak menemukan daratan dan tenggelam. Wanita tua yang masih
terlihat segar itu nampak sangar menatap kamera, kenanganku bersama nenek
adalah ketika kami berfoto bersama setelah saya selesai foto untuk keperluan
administrasi masuk sekolah.
Saya sadar, saya telalu sibuk menyimpan
kenangan di media sosial, instagram salah satunya, dan kebanyakan hanyalah foto
saya sendiri. Saya suka, apalagi proses editingnya yang mainin taste
banget seperti memperhatikan filter, brighness, contrast
hingga saturationnya. Kids zaman now pasti ngerti banget hal ini.
Tapi sebenarnya gak perlu tuh proses editing kalau kalian sudah tahu ‘best
angle’ kalian di mana, pencahayaan, gaya andalan hingga outfit
terbaik yang kalian miliki, harus dipersiapkan sebelum eksekusi tentunya.
Nah, ngomongin outfit nih ya, saya tuh
kadang merasa kalau fashion pria secara general wajib deh punya celana jeans, cewek juga sih ya, tapi bener gak
sih kalau saya bilang produk cowok tuh belinya agak susah, mahal plus jarang
yang beragam, gitu-gitu ajah. Hiks. Celana jeans itu salah satunya, saya
tuh kalau beli celana pasti minta temenin temen, buat ngasih saran ini-itu,
cocok atau gaknya, plus ‘masuk akal gak harganya’. Dan temen saya itu teliti
banget, saya ingat dan sedikit belajar dari cara dia memilih celana jenas yang
baik dan benar ‘kata dia’, seperti memilih bahan yang adem serta gak terlalu
norak warnanya karena kadang luntur kalau di cuci, mereknya juga harus
terpercaya, jangan yang abal. Model celananya pun juga harus kekinian, jangan
jadul.
Kadang bingung sih kalau harus beli
sendiri, milih yang ringan tuh yang bagaimana, jalan satu-satunya ya dicoba,
kalau pas di kaki dan paha terus nyaman digunakan, otomatis celana tersebut
siap kalian beli. Pemilihan warnanya pun jangan lupa, selain jangan warna yang
‘ngejreng’, pastikan kalian pilih warna hitam atau cokelat tua, saya
sangat merekomendasikan karena pas untuk di sandiongkan dengan kaos atau atasan
warna apa saja, dan tentunya tak mudah kotor. Dan urusan harga, saya lebigh
memilih yang mahal dan bermerek sekalian dibandingkan yang ‘murah’, kecuali
bermerek tapi diskon, haha. Tapi jujur, saya sih biasanya minta tolong
sama temen, hehe. Lebih meyakinkan gitu.
Sebelum mengandalkan teman dalam hal
berbelanja celana, Nenek saya selalu lihai dalam hal tersebut, saya ingat
bagaiamana ia suka sekali menawar, pintar, meskipun pada akhirnya ia membayar
lebih, tawar menawar hanya sebagai syarat wajib belanja baginya. Kenanganku
bersama nenek juga ada di toko pakaian yang tepat berada di sebelah studio foto.
Sekarang, sepasang saksi bisu itu mungkin sudah tak ada, jika masih ada pun
saya tak ingin ke sana, selain terlalu menyimpan banyak kisah, saat ini saya
juga lebih sering belanja online, lihat keterangan pakaian dengan detail dan
memilih toko inline yang terpercaya adalah hal yang saya andalkan jika
berbelanja online.
21 Juli 2017 ia jadikan hari terakhirnya
melihatku, atau mungkin hari terakhirku melihatnya, aku menagis dan ia tersenyum.
Selanjutnya, saya mencoba menghela nafas sambil membuka lembar kenangan
berikutnya, manis, Ibuku sewaktu muda tersenyum, rambut bondolnya membuatku
seperti bercermin. Jika kalian bertanya kenapa saya suka sekali cokelat, dialah
yang mungkin harus bertanggung jawab, setiap pulang kerja beliau pasti
membawakannya, merek dan rasa apapun, waktu kecil semua cokelat sama di lidah
saya.
Kalau saya ingat, di instagram juga tak
ada foto ibu saya, beliau sudah tak pernah mau untuk diajak foto, dan
saya bahagia ketika menemukan foto yang saya genggam itu. Saatnya
menjelajah, dan saatnya bermain dengan masa lalu, kembali.
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